Before You Lower Your Expectations, Answer These Three Questions

Gallup has spent decades studying employee engagement, and one of the most important questions they ask employees is surprisingly simple:

“Do you know what is expected of you at work?”

Only about half of employees strongly agree they can answer that question.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Half of the people in our organizations may be operating without complete clarity around what is expected of them and what success looks like.

A CEO recently told us:

“If our leadership team got just 1% better at creating clear expectations, it would have a measurable impact on results.”

He is right.

Expectations sit at the center of performance, productivity, and profitability. When expectations are unclear, feedback becomes confusing, assumptions increase, and frustration grows.

Recently, another leader asked us a different question:

“Do I need to lower my expectations?”

The leader was frustrated.

Team members weren’t following through.  

Commitments were being missed.  

Results weren’t where they needed to be.

"Do I need to lower my expectations?" was the wrong question. We asked a better question:

"Did they agree to your expectations?”

His facial expression instantly changed, it was a "lightbulb" moment.

He had never considered that his team members may not have fully understood, agreed to, or taken ownership of the expectations he had in his mind.

What If You Don’t Have a Performance Problem?

What if you think you have a performance problem, but in reality, you have a clarity and agreement problem?

There is a significant difference between:

Communicating an expectation and Establishing a clear, mutually agreed-upon expectation.

An expectation is not truly shared just because it was stated.

It becomes shared when both parties understand:

• What is expected 
• Why it matters 
• What success looks like 
• How progress will be discussed along the way  

Without clarity, there can be no true agreement.  

Without agreement, feedback often feels confusing or disconnected.  

And when clarity, agreement, and feedback are missing, frustration grows.

What many leaders call an “unmet expectation” is often an expectation that was never clearly understood or mutually agreed upon in the first place.

The Cost of Unclear Expectations

Think about how often this happens in organizations:

• A leader expects someone to be more proactive.  

  The team member believes they are doing exactly what is required.

• A leader expects more ownership.  

  The team member thinks they are already taking ownership.

• A leader expects better communication.  

  The team member has no idea what “better” means.

The leader becomes frustrated.  

The employee becomes confused.  

Performance suffers.  

And both sides wonder what went wrong.

The assumption is often that the expectation wasn’t met.  

The reality may be that the expectation was never fully clarified or agreed to.

Creating Clarity Around Expectations

In Clarity Based Leadership™, we teach leaders how to integrate clarity into their leadership through systems for expectations and feedback.

When leaders consistently apply these systems, four things naturally happen:

1. Clarity

• Can both parties clearly describe the expectation? 
• Can they explain why it matters? 
• Can they define what success looks like?

2. Agreement

• Does the other person understand the expectation and agree to pursue it? 
• Has this been explicitly discussed, not just implied?

Agreement cannot be assumed. It must be discussed.

3. Navigating Obstacles Through Feedback

As you move forward together, ask:

• What is getting in the way? 
• Is there a lack of skill? 
• A lack of resources? 
• A lack of clarity? 
• Am I asking this person to adapt significantly in order to meet this expectation? 
• What feedback are we giving and receiving along the way?

4. Evaluate and Adjust

Over time, revisit:

• Does the expectation need to be adjusted? 
• Does the person need additional support? 
• Do we need to redefine what success looks like? 
• Or have we uncovered something bigger?
  • Perhaps the issue isn’t effort at all. Perhaps you have a role-fit issue.
  • One of the biggest mistakes leaders make is expecting someone to become something they are not naturally designed to be, rather than helping them develop into who they were designed to become. There is a difference.

Don’t Lower Expectations. Create Clarity.

The goal of leadership is not to lower expectations every time frustration appears.

The goal is to create clarity.

Clarity around what is expected.  

Clarity around what winning looks like.  

Clarity around obstacles.  

Clarity around feedback.  

Clarity around agreements.

When leaders do this well, they create an environment where people can choose to develop, grow, and rise to expectations they clearly understand and have agreed to pursue.

So before you lower your expectations, answer these three questions:

1. Did I communicate the expectation with clarity? 
2. Did the other person agree to the expectation?
3. Do we have a cadence of feedback that allows us to navigate obstacles and make adjustments along the way?

The answers may reveal that the issue isn’t the expectation itself. 

The issue is the clarity surrounding it.

Sources

• Gallup Workplace Research 
• Clarity Based Leadership™ 
• The Clarity Model™ 
• Leading to the One™ 
• Unused Human Capacity™